Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
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All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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