see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize