walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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