Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
