i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
