The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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