# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
