My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
