First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
