i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize