Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
