First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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