That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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