Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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