Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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