He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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