when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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