There was a lot of him and a little penis
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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