I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
