no, he came in my armpit
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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