I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
