it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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