It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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