yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
