I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
