And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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