do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
