Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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