tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
