New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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