So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
