i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
