we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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