whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
