Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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