i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
