This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
