he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
