I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
