Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
