you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
