We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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