I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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