You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
