I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she told me i tasted like america
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
