I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
