the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
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The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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