I want you more than these girls want KFC
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
