Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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