I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
