if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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