You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
