Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
