is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
