His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
