need another drink. this is the easiest way
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
