Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
