Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
