Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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