you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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