After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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