Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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