please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
