There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
