omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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