Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
